第Ⅱ部 ゼミ生（卒業生）在校時の作品【REWRITE、添削例】
以下に、ゼミ生（１９９９年度、２０００年度）が発表もしくは提出した解答を
6例だけ掲載します。一生懸命に調べたり､英訳したりした結果の解答であることがよく分かります
（第Ⅰ部でも類似のことを書きましたが、本ゼミでは、内容の学問的正確さは一義的なものではありません）。英作文の授業ではありませんが、より良い英文にして、ゼミ生の意図が少しでも正しく伝えられるように、最優秀作品（加除修正済み）を除き、ORIGINAL作品とREWRITE作品のペアを３組、添削例を２例掲載しました。Rewriteにあたっては、かつての同僚で明海大学名誉教授の
L．G．Perkins 氏にご教示を仰いだところもありますが、文法･語法上の問題が残っていれば、それは担当者である私の責任に帰するものです。学生名は省略してあります。
最優秀作品
◆ Why don't Japanese high school graduates study after they go to a university?
I sometimes have this question asked by foreign friends. Japanese
know that students have to work hard to get into a university, but after
they get in, they don't have to study very much to graduate. This is especially
true with students in the humanities. Anyone who gets into a university
will almost always graduate. He or she doesn't have to worry about failing
even if he or she doesn't study very hard. British and American universities
are much harder. A professor who is lax in teaching a course will lose
his or her students, or even his or her job. Many Japanese university students
just fool around.
On the whole, Japanese education overstresses acquiring factual knowledge.
Developing individuality takes second place, partly because of traditional
education. I think university entrance examinations have a lot to do with
it. The root of the problem is that if a person gets into a name university,
he or she will have an easier time getting a good job. Parents want their
children to go to a name school and school education is centered too much
around examinations. Thus, many parents send their kids to “cram schools”
from the time they're in elementary school - so they can get into a name
university without spending time waiting to get into a university. Many
middle school students go to “cram schools.” And, unfortunately, many
students study just for examinations. They don't enjoy the knowledge they
can gain or understand lesson content. Studying is an easy way to pass
examinations or get good grades. Students, teachers and family members
should distinguish success in life from just getting a diploma. It's not
useful for students to just study to pass entrance examinations. I think
students who want to go on to a university should have to understand what
they're going to a university for.
One more important thing is Japanese society. Japanese universities
reflect Japanese society. Japan isn't competitive, because society doesn't
require special knowledge (at least, it hasn't required it). Companies
don't ask for specialization, such as technology, and don't ask for specialists
(at least, they haven't asked for them). They require only general knowledge.
Japanese companies don't concern themselves with specialized education.
Unfortunately, companies are interested in what university a person graduates
from, by name. Japanese students know that, so they don't take special
courses when they're freshmen or sophomores. Students must be small cogs.
The company has to ask students “What can you do?”“What are your specialities?”
Japanese society has to foster competition, and students, families, universities
and society have to change everything to solve this problem.
◆ 提出作品 １．
QUESTION 26. WHY DO JAPANESE USE MEETING PLACES TO CONFIRM
RESULTS OF BEHIND THE SCENES ARRANGEMENTS
(NEMAWASHI)?
For Japanese，meetings are not the places for discussions. They are
set up as preparation for"nemawashi" or for approval and confirmation
once the "nemawashi" process is over. The"nemawashi"
is originally used to refer to the transplantation of a plant or tree.
It means to dig around the perimeter of the main roots, preserving them
and cutting off peripheral roots.
"Nemawashi" in Japanese business culture refers to the practice
of seeking agreement from one's boss, those related to the project and
one's superiors before anything is suggested publicly or opinions are given.
Japanese decision-making style is bottom-up system. After "nemawashi"
has been completed, the project agenda will be approved when it is presented
at a meeting because everyone has already discussed.
According to the bottom-up system, in Japan, and individual's decision-making
authority is more limited than in other countries, especially in America. The
reason is that internal company consensus is required in order to make
a major decision. A project can't progress without the approval not only
of those directly involved but also of various departments that will help
bring the project to completion and those in management.
Therefore, once a project is begun
it is hard to change or abandon it. A project
is usually completed in a short amount of
time, since it has already taken so much
time to make the decision and everyone is
behind it.
However, many foreigners are not familiar with the idea of "nemawashi." For
westerners, meetings are used to make suggestions and then to discuss those
suggestions. In the west, a project can be initiated easily by the contact
person or at a project can be initiated easily by the contact person or
at the departmental level, if the budget permits. Therefore, westerers
come across the Japanese decision-making process. They are often confused
since they don't know when things really start.
Japanese decision-making takes a long
time but American decision-making does not.
When people are unaware of these differences
in decision-making, great misunderstandings
arise. Americans can change plans after a
decision is made but Japanese cannot. Therefore,
Americans get the idea that Japanese are
inflexible and Japanese misunderstand that
Americans are lack a sense of responsibility.
Both decision-making methods have their
strengths and weakness. The Japanese strong
point is that they take time to lay a solid
foundation before the initial decision. So,
they have a very detailed project outline
with few failures in its execution. On the
other hand, they are weak to rapid changes
in circumstances or urgent situations. This
method is taken so much time to arrive at
the initial decison, they don't have a lot
of leeway in the remaining schedule.
The American decision-making style
is useful for winning tough competition,
because it is quick and action-oriented.,
But,
friction with overseas partners occurs easily
since the initial agreement is likely to
keep changing. Employees and subcontractors
may start to feel it is risky to trust the
company and think twice about putting all
their effort into the plan.
If the foreigners are unaware of the subtle process of "nemawashi,"
they may get irritated with the long wait, feel excluded from the consultation
proceess and be disappointed with the result
Summing up, I think consensus is necessary
in making the initial decision. So Japanese
gather the necessary resources, statistics
and past precedents along the way in order
to persuade top management. So they always
use "nemawashi" and Japanese meetings
are set up as preparation or confirmation
place for "nemawashi."
For Japanese，meetings aren't for discussions.
They're set up for behind the scenes arrangements
(nemawashi) or approval anｄ confirmation
once such arrangements have been settled. "Nemawashi"
was originally used to refer to transplanting
plants, including trees. It means digging
around the outside of the main roots, preserving
them, and cutting off outer roots.
"Nemawashi! in Japanese business
refers to seeking agreement from one's boss,
those concerned with the project and one's
superiors before suggesting something publicly
or expressing an opinion. Japanese decision-making
is bottom-up. After "nemawashi"
is completed, the project agenda will be
approved when presented at a meeting because
everyone has already agreed
In Japanese bottom-up decision-making,
an individual's decision-making authority
is more limited than in other countries -
especially in America. The reason is that
internal company consensus is required to
make a major decision. A project can't progress
without approval of those directly involved
and of various departments that will help
complete the project, and those in management.
Therefore，once a project is started,
it's hard to change or abandon it. A project
is usually completed in a short time, since
it has already taken so much time to decide
and everyone is behind it.
However, many foreigners aren't familiar
with "nemawashi." For westerners,
meetings are used to give and discuss suggestions.
In the west, a project can be initiated easily
by the contact person or at department level
if the budget permits. Therefore, when westerners
run into Japanese decision-making, they're
often confused, since they don't know when
things really start.
Japanese decision-making takes a long
time, but American decision-making doesn't.
When people are unaware of these decision－making
differences, serious misunderstandings may
result. Americans can change plans after
deciding, but Japanese can't. Therefore,
Americans get the idea that Japanese are
inflexible and Japanese misunderstand that
Americans lack a sense of responsibility.
Both decision-making styles have their
strengths and weaknesses. The Japanese strong
point is that they take time
to lay a solid foundation before initially
deciding, so they have a very detailed project
outline with few failures in carrying out
projects. On the other hand, they're weak
in quickly changing circumstances or urgent
situations. Since they take so much time
to initially decide, they don't have a lot
of leeway in the remaining time.
American decision-making is useful
for winning tough competition, because it's
quick and action-oriented. But, friction
with overseas partners may occur easily,
since the initial agreement is likely to
keep changing. Employees and subcontractors
may start to feel it is risky to trust the
company, and think twice about putting all
their effort into the plan.
If the foreigners are unaware of the
subtle "nemawashi" process, they
may be irritated with the long delay, feel
excluded from consultation and be disappointed
with results.
I think consensus is necessary in initially
deciding. So, Japanese gather necesarry resources,
statistics and precedents along the way to
persuade top management. They always use
"nemawashi" and Japanese meetings
are set up to prepare for confirming what
is decided through behind the scenes
arrangements -"nemawashi."
◆ 提出作品 2．
QUESTION 47. WHY DO JAPANESE TOLERATE DRUNKS?
【ORIGINAL】
Before Ｉ ｗｏｒｋｅｄ ｏｎ this assignment,
Ｉ had thought the reason had something to
do with Japanese characters. This ｏｐｉｎｉｏｎ
comes from my memories. At a drinking party
I was quickly drunk and after drinking I
had to walk in zigizags on my way home. Were
they disgusting at me? No! On the contrary,
they had taken care of me. Two of my classmates
helped me to go to a station. Besides when
I parted from them, they smiled and said
to me "Godd-bye!" Their kindness
touched my heart. I realized Japanese were
really tolerant of drunken persons and tolerance
was related to Japanese characters. The point
is the tolerance is closely related to the
matter sake has had a religious meaning from
ancient times in Japan.
Japanese has started rice growing and they had made sake from rice.
They had come ｔｏ use sake for offerings in the Shinto festival. So to
speak, sake had been used for "Miki," Ｇｏｄｓ' beverage. The
village couldn't drink "Miki" at first. Then they had got a little
share of "Miki."
They think of sake that is made from
rice as a holy thing that symbolizes a benefit
of the Ｇｏｄ Fertility. That's why sake
is used for offerings to a household Shinto
alter and the Shinto ceremony of purification.
In addition Sake had been originally a beverage to sympathize a mutual
sense of unity, enjoying excitement together between Gods and people, or
between people and people. Ｔｈａｔ was the main folk function of sake.
After all sake is originally a tool that makes people and Gods have
a very happy time together. I guess the background of sake can bring me
to see a drunk as a person who has a happy time together with people or
Gods rather than as a person who loses self-control. In other words, the
religious background enables us to tolerate drunken persons.
Before working on this assignment,
I had thought the reason Japanese tolerate
drunks had something to do with Japanese
character. This came from my memories. At
a drinking party, I quickly got drunk and
after drinking, I had to walk zigzag on my
way home. Were people disgusted with me?
No! On the contrary, they took care of me.
Two of my classmates helped me to the station.
When I parted from them, they smiled and
said "Goodbye!" Their kindness
touched my heart. I realized Japanese were
really tolerate of drunks and the tolerance
was related to Japanese character.
Ｔｈｉｓ tolerance is closely related to sake having religious significance
from ancient time in Japan. Japanese started growing rice, from which they
made sake. They used to sake for offerings in Shinto festivals. Sake was
used as an offering to the gods (omiki). Villages couldn't drink "omiki"
at first. Then they got a little share of
"omiki."
They think of sake, made from rice,
as someting holy that symbolizes a gift from
the Ｆｅｒｔｉｌｉｔｙ God. That's why sake
is used for offerings at a household Shinto
altar and at Shinto purification ceremonies.
Sake was originally used to create
a mutual sense of unity, enjoying excitement
together, between the gods and people, or
between people and people. That was the main
folk function of sake.
Ｓａkｅ was originally a means of getting
people and the gods to have a very happy
time together. I guess the background of
sake helps me see a drunk as someone who
is having a happy time with people or with
the gods, rather than a person who has lost
self-control. Our religious background hepls
us tolerate drunks. That's the main reason
Japanese tolerate drunks.
◆ 提出作品 ３．
QUESTION 126. WHY DOＮ’Ｔ ＪＡＰＡＮＥＳＥ ＬＯＯＫ
INTO A PARTNER'S EYES WHEN THEY ARE SPEAKING
WITH OTHER PEOPLE?
【ORIGINAL】
I'm a non-Japanese and I don't clearly
know the reason why Japanese don't look into
the other's eyes. So I asked some Japanese
people. One of them answered that the Japanese
don't want to show their real feelings to
the other people when they meet for the first
time. Therefore they turn their eyes away
from the partner. They think that the partner
who they are speaking is looking for something
in their eyes. So they don't want to look
into the partner's eyes.
The next reason is that they feel shy
to look into the stranger's eyes. One Japanese
answered me that this (they don't look into
the partner's eyes) is the Japanese tradition
and they keep up it although it is good or
bad. Above reasons are the answers of some
Japanese people that I asked.
Let's think about it more. There's a saying in my culture： "Eyes
are the windows of the heart." I think it's true. If we want to tell
a lie, we can tell it but we can't hide it in our eyes. So in my country,
when the adults or the parents know that children are telling a lie, they
tell their children "Look into my eyes and tell one more time."
Therefore in my country, one who doesn't look into the partner's eyes when
they are speaking, is thought that he or she is telling a lie.
Non-Japanese, especially Americans,
think that Japanese avoid making eye contact
during conversation. The distinciton is that:Japanese
feel that eye contact is rude and express
an attempt to intimidate or challenge the
other person. In America, avoidance of eye
contact is taken indicating not interested
in what is being said. They also think that
the listener is hiding something immoral.
The reason why Japanese avoid eye contact
is connected with Japan's feudal history.
About 130 years ago, Japan opened its doors
to the outside world and began to modernize.
Before that time, Japan had a strict class
system. Every circumstance of Japanese society
was affected by this system and this system
is reached its height during the Edo period
(1600-1867). Common people were disallowed
to speak or have contact with the samurai
warrior class and intermarriage was quite
unthinkable. Eye contact with a higher social
status person was very rude and it could
cost the offender his life. Although Japan's
feudal period ended with Edo period, its
psychological and emotional impact on the
Japanese psyche remains. Japanese still unconsciously
avoid making eye contact as a way of being
polite.
American people think that direct eye
contact is seen as proof of self-confidence
and trustworthiness, and has traditionally
been a good thing. When Japanese people are
made eye contact with other people, they
will be uncomfortable or embarrassed and
look away during conversation. These are
the reasons why Japanese don't look into
the partner's eyes when they are speaking
with other people.
I'm not Japanese，and I don't know clearly
why Japanese don't look into another person's
eyes, so I asked some Japanese people. One
of them answered that Japanese don't want
to show their true feelings to others when
they meet for the first time. Therefore,
they turn their eyes away from the other
person. They think the other person they're
speaking to is looking for something in their
eyes, so they don't want to look into the
other person's eyes.
Also, they're too shy to look into
a stranger's eyes. One Japanese told me that
this ( not looking into another person's
eyes) is a Japanese tradition which they
perpetuate，good or bad. These are the answers
I got from some Japanese.
Let's consider this further. There's a saying, "The eyes are
the windows of the heart." I think it's true. If we want to lie to
someone, we can do so，but we can't hide it in our eyes. In my country,
when adults or parents know that children are lying, they tell the children，"Look
into my eyes and tell me one more time." Thus, in my country a person
who doesn't look into another person's eyes when they are speaking, is
thought to be lying.
Non-Japanese, especially Americans,
think that Japanese avoid eye contact during
conversation. The distinction is that Japanese
feel eye contact is rude and expresses an
attempt to intimidate or challenge the other
person. In America, avoiding eye contact
is taken as indicating disinterest in what
is being said. They also think the listener
is hiding something improper.
Japanese avoiding eye contact relates to Japan's feudal history.
About 130 years ago, Japan opened its doors to the outside world and started
modernizing. Before then, Japan had strict classes. Every aspect of Japanese
society was affected by this structure which reached its height during
the Edo period (1600-1867). Common people weren't permitted to speak to
or have contact with the samurai warrior and intermarriage was unthinkable.
Eye contact with a person higher social status was very rude and could
cost the offender his or her life. Although Japan's feudal society ended
with the Edo period, it's psychological and emotional impact on the Japanese
psyche remains. Japanese still unconsciously avoid eye contact as a way
of being polite.
Americans think direct eye contact
is proof of self－confidence and trustworthyness，
and has traditionally been considered good.
When Japanese make eye contact with others,
they're uncomfortable or embarrassed and
look away during conversation.These are reasons
Japanese don't look into another person's
eyes when they are speaking to them.
◆ 提出作品 ４．【添削例】（不要個所を打ち消し線で示し、書き換え及び付加した個所を斜体字で示す）
QUESTION 135． WHY ARE JAPANESE SO KIND TO
RELATIVES, SENIORS, ACQUAINTANCES BUT NOT
SO KIND BUT COOL AND NOT WANT TO BE CONCERNED
WITH OTHERS?
About 7 years ago I didn't really know the
answer of to this question very well. When I attend came to this class and discuss talked about many titles subjects, I noticed the Japanese customs of Japanese. and So I came got to understand about this question. the reason. Japanese (people) always think about 'uchi' the inside part and 'soto' the outside
part. 'uchi,' inside, and 'soto,' outside.They think that relatives, seniors and acquaintances
are their inside part their group and the people who(m) they don't know are their outside part. So they think for their inside part first and then think for
their outside part. They think first of their inside group, then
of outsiders. If we think well, consider this, it is the it's a natural way of thinking. to think. Sometimes, when we do kind things for the other people, others, they don't think the gratitude. aren't grateful.
When I had just arrived in came to Japan, I lived in a small apartment(house) in Otsuka. There were many old people who
lived alone in my apartment (house). One day when I came back to my apartment
from school, I saw an old woman who was from my apartment (house). I knew her but she didn't notice me realize that she and I lived in the same apartment
(house). That day she carried She was carrying a heavy bag and came back to her room. So I told her to I'd help her carrying her the bag to her room. But she She refused me my offer and looked at me cool with cold eyes and may be she probably thought that I was a foreigner and she didn't
know me so she didn't need my help.
Two or three months after that happening later, that the old woman noticed me recognized that I also lived in the same apartment (house)and she came got to know about me and sometimes we made some greetings we sometimes greeted each other. And thenThen I could help her when I met her on the way carrying heavy things. saw she was carrying something heavy.
The custom of Japanese that they don't want
to concern with other people is good for
sometimes but it is also bad for sometimes. The Japanese custom of not wanting to be
concerned with others is sometimes good and
sometimes bad. If people they don't want others to know other people what they are doing, it is it's a good custom for them. If someone faced with is accosted by a pickpocket or a groper in on the train, nobody gives the help helps although they saw that happening. see what's happening. Japanese people don't want to concern get involved with other people others, so they ignored these happenings. what happens. But thinking from the people who was made pickpocket or bad
things, From the standpoint of who were involved
with pickpockets or misfortune, they want someone's help. Therefore, it is bad for this time. ignoring such things is bad.
Summing up I didn't really know why Japanese people
are not so aren't very kind and cool to other peoplee before are cold toward others,but I gradually came to know have gradually come to understand why.
◆ 提出作品 ５．【添削例】（不要個所を打ち消し線で示し、書き換え及び付加した個所を斜体字で示す）
WHY JAPANESE DON'T PROPERLY USE “YES” AND
“NO”．
Ａ lot of Japanese misunderstand
how to make an answer “Yes” and “No.” Ｉｎ Ｅnglish country, they use properly Yes and
No just their own opinion what the question takes
any forms. English-speaking countries, they use “Yes
”and “No” expressing their opinions directly
regardless of the form of the question. Ｔｈｉｓ point is serious difference differs greatly between Japanese and English. Compared with Unlike English, Japanese use properly “Yes” and or “No” which depending on whether the question is an affirmative sentence or a negative sentence. Ｔｈｉｓ is a Japanese special answer way. Give two
sentences as follows： Japanese peculiarity is illustrated by the
following (two examples)：
F： Do you like fishing?
J： No, I don't.
F： Oh, you don't.
J： Yes.
F： Yes?
J： Yes.
Japanese word In Japanese “Yes” stands for means “I agree with what you are suggesting behind your words the suggestion behind your words.” The intention is
a negative meaning. In English country, English-speaking countries, “No” means nagative meaning and “Yes” means affirmative meaning.
F： Didn't you see him yesterday?
J： Yes, I didn't.
This answer “Yes” stands for means “Yes, I agree with what you say. said - I didn't see him.” After “Yes”, it is omitted that “What you said is right. Ｙｏｕｒquestion is correct.” The words following “Yes,” indicating that
“What you said is right. (Your question
is correct.)” are omitted. This answer is the way of using “Yes” and “No” are used in Japan. This is a problem is when we speak English, because of we catch English with translating English into Japanese what
foreigners said. we translate from English to Japanese what
foreigners say .
There is one more Another misleading Japanese use of “Yes” is chiming in. AsJapanese is grown up by our their mothers with giving child a scoldingthe child with “Do you hear me? If you hear me, do an answer.” We have amanner what wehabitually chime in “ Yes” in the middle of other's talk. another person's statement. This Japanese action trait is rather liable to cause misunderstanding to chime in with saying “Yes” can be interpreted “OK”
for foreigners. because foreigners may interpret saying “Yes” as “OK.” So, when we express our an opinion after other's talk, another person finishes talking,foreigners are angry. may be upset.“You said ‘Yes’ some time ago.” It's
easy for Japanese to change from the Japanese chime way of chiming in to the English way by saying “I see”
or “Oh, really?” or something like that. some such comment.