[ 日英言語文化比較
    
山岸ゼミ生(卒業生)在校時の作品より【REWRITE、添削例

                                  
 明海大学外国語学部英米語学科・山岸ゼミでは、数年前から「日本の言語文化に関する外国人の疑問」と題して、日英言語文化比較を行なってきています。以下に、ゼミ生(1999年度、2000年度)が発表もしくは提出した解答を 6例だけ掲載します。一生懸命に調べたり、英訳したりした結果の解答であることがよく分かります (本ゼミでは、内容の学問的正確さは一義的なものではありません)。英作文の授業ではありませんが、より良い英文にして、ゼミ生の意図が少しでも正しく伝えられるように、最優秀作品(加除修正済み)を除き、ORIGINAL作品とREWRITE作品のペアを3組、添削例を2例掲載しました。Rewriteにあたっては、かつての同僚で明海大学名誉教授の L.G.Perkins 氏にご教示を仰いだところもありますが、文法・語法上の問題が残っていれば、それは担当者である私の責任に帰するものです。学生名は省略してあります。


最優秀作品
Why don't Japanese high school graduates study after they go to a university?

   I sometimes have this question asked by foreign friends. Japanese know that students have to work hard to get into a university, but after they get in, they don't have to study very much to graduate. This is especially true with students in the humanities. Anyone who gets into a university will almost always graduate. He or she doesn't have to worry about failing even if he or she doesn't study very hard. British and American universities are much harder. A professor who is lax in teaching a course will lose his or her students, or even his or her job. Many Japanese university students just fool around.
  On the whole, Japanese education overstresses acquiring factual knowledge. Developing individuality takes second place, partly because of traditional education. I think university entrance examinations have a lot to do with it. The root of the problem is that if a person gets into a name university, he or she will have an easier time getting a good job. Parents want their children to go to a name school and school education is centered too much around examinations. Thus, many parents send their kids to “cram schools” from the time they're in elementary school - so they can get into a name university without spending time waiting to get into a university. Many middle school students go to “cram schools.” And, unfortunately, many students study just for examinations. They don't enjoy the knowledge they can gain or understand lesson content. Studying is an easy way to pass examinations or get good grades. Students, teachers and family members should distinguish success in life from just getting a diploma. It's not useful for students to just study to pass entrance examinations. I think students who want to go on to a university should have to understand what they're going to a university for.
   One more important thing is Japanese society. Japanese universities reflect Japanese society. Japan isn't competitive, because society doesn't require special knowledge (at least, it hasn't required it). Companies don't ask for specialization, such as technology, and don't ask for specialists (at least, they haven't asked for them). They require only general knowledge. Japanese companies don't concern themselves with specialized education. Unfortunately, companies are interested in what university a person graduates from, by name. Japanese students know that, so they don't take special courses when they're freshmen or sophomores. Students must be small cogs. The company has to ask students “What can you do?”“What are your specialities?” Japanese society has to foster competition, and students, families, universities and society have to change everything to solve this problem.


◆ 提出作品 1.

QUESTION 26.  WHY DO JAPANESE USE MEETING PLACES TO CONFIRM RESULTS OF BEHIND THE SCENES ARRANGEMENTS (NEMAWASHI)?

【ORIGINAL】

  For Japanese,meetings are not the places for discussions. They are set up as preparation for"nemawashi" or for approval and confirmation once the "nemawashi" process is over. The"nemawashi" is originally used to refer to the transplantation of a plant or tree. It means to dig around the perimeter of the main roots, preserving them and cutting off peripheral roots.
  "Nemawashi" in Japanese business culture refers to the practice of seeking agreement from one's boss, those related to the project and one's superiors before anything is suggested publicly or opinions are given. Japanese decision-making style is bottom-up system. After "nemawashi" has been completed, the project agenda will be approved when it is presented at a meeting because everyone has already discussed.
  According to the bottom-up system, in Japan, and individual's decision-making authority is more limited than in other countries, especially in America. The reason is that internal company consensus is required in order to make a major decision. A project can't progress without the approval not only of those directly involved but also of various departments that will help bring the project to completion and those in management.
   Therefore, once a project is begun it is hard to change or abandon it. A project is usually completed in a short amount of time, since it has already taken so much time to make the decision and everyone is behind it.
   However, many foreigners are not familiar with the idea of "nemawashi." For westerners, meetings are used to make suggestions and then to discuss those suggestions.  In the west, a project can be initiated easily by the contact person or at a project can be initiated easily by the contact person or at the departmental level, if the budget permits. Therefore, westerers come across the Japanese decision-making process. They are often confused since they don't know when things really start.
   Japanese decision-making takes a long time but American decision-making does not. When people are unaware of these differences in decision-making, great misunderstandings arise. Americans can change plans after a decision is made but Japanese cannot. Therefore, Americans get the idea that Japanese are inflexible and Japanese misunderstand that Americans are lack a sense of responsibility.
   Both decision-making methods have their strengths and weakness. The Japanese strong point is that they take time to lay a solid foundation before the initial decision. So, they have a very detailed project outline with few failures in its execution. On the other hand, they are weak to rapid changes in circumstances or urgent situations. This method is taken so much time to arrive at the initial decison, they don't have a lot of leeway in the remaining schedule.
   The American decision-making style is useful for winning tough competition, because it is quick and action-oriented., But,
friction with overseas partners occurs easily since the initial agreement is likely to keep changing. Employees and subcontractors may start to feel it is risky to trust the company and think twice about putting all their effort into the plan.
   If the foreigners are unaware of the subtle process of "nemawashi," they may get irritated with the long wait, feel excluded from the consultation proceess and be disappointed with the result
   Summing up, I think consensus is necessary in making the initial decision. So Japanese gather the necessary resources, statistics and past precedents along the way in order to persuade top management. So they always use "nemawashi" and Japanese meetings are set up as preparation or confirmation place for "nemawashi."

【REWRITE】
   For Japanese,meetings aren't for discussions. They're set up for behind the scenes arrangements (nemawashi) or approval and confirmation once such arrangements have been settled. "Nemawashi" was originally used to refer to transplanting plants, including trees. It means digging around the outside of the main roots, preserving them, and cutting off outer roots.
   "Nemawashi! in Japanese business refers to seeking agreement from one's boss, those concerned with the project and one's superiors before suggesting something publicly or expressing an opinion. Japanese decision-making is bottom-up. After "nemawashi" is completed, the project agenda will be approved when presented at a meeting because everyone has already agreed  
  
 In Japanese bottom-up decision-making, an individual's decision-making authority is more limited than in other countries - especially in America. The reason is that internal company consensus is required to make a major decision. A project can't progress without approval of those directly involved and of various departments that will help complete the project, and those in management.
   Therefore,once a project is started, it's hard to change or abandon it. A project is usually completed in a short time, since it has already taken so much time to decide and everyone is behind it.
   However, many foreigners aren't familiar with "nemawashi." For westerners, meetings are used to give and discuss suggestions. In the
west, a project can be initiated easily by the contact person or at department level if the budget permits. Therefore, when westerners run into Japanese decision-making, they're often confused, since they don't know when things really start.
   Japanese decision-making takes a long time, but American decision-making doesn't. When people are unaware of these decision−making differences, serious misunderstandings may result. Americans can change plans after deciding, but Japanese can't. Therefore, Americans get the idea that Japanese are inflexible and Japanese misunderstand that Americans lack a sense of responsibility.
   Both decision-making styles have their strengths and weaknesses. The Japanese strong point is that they take time
to lay a solid foundation before initially deciding, so they have a very detailed project outline with few failures in carrying out projects. On the other hand, they're weak in quickly changing circumstances or urgent situations. Since they take so much time to initially decide, they don't have a lot of leeway in the remaining time.
   American decision-making is useful for winning tough competition, because it's quick and action-oriented. But, friction with overseas partners may occur easily, since the initial agreement is likely to keep changing. Employees and subcontractors may start to feel it is risky to trust the company, and think twice about putting all their effort into the plan.
   If the foreigners are unaware of the subtle "nemawashi" process, they may be irritated with the long delay, feel excluded from consultation and be disappointed with results.
   I think consensus is necessary in initially deciding. So, Japanese gather necesarry resources, statistics and precedents along the way to persuade top management. They always use "nemawashi" and Japanese meetings are set up to prepare for confirming what is decided through behind the scenes
arrangements -"nemawashi."




◆ 提出作品 2.
QUESTION 47.  WHY DO JAPANESE TOLERATE DRUNKS?

【ORIGINAL】    
  Before I worked on this assignment, I had thought the reason had something to do with Japanese characters. This opinion comes from my memories. At a drinking party I was quickly drunk and after drinking I had to walk in zigizags on my way home. Were they disgusting at me? No! On the contrary, they had taken care of me. Two of my classmates helped me to go to a station. Besides when I parted from them, they smiled and said to me "Godd-bye!" Their kindness touched my heart. I realized Japanese were really tolerant of drunken persons and tolerance was related to Japanese characters. The point is the tolerance is closely related to the matter sake has had a religious meaning from ancient times in Japan.
   Japanese has started rice growing and they had made sake from rice. They had come to use sake for offerings in the Shinto festival. So to speak, sake had been used for "Miki," Gods' beverage. The village couldn't drink "Miki" at first. Then they had got a little share of "Miki."
   They think of sake that is made from rice as a holy thing that symbolizes a benefit of the God Fertility. That's why sake is used for offerings to a household Shinto alter and the Shinto ceremony of purification.
   In addition Sake had been originally a beverage to sympathize a mutual sense of unity, enjoying excitement together between Gods and people, or between people and people. That was the main folk function of sake.
   After all sake is originally a tool that makes people and Gods have a very happy time together. I guess the background of sake can bring me to see a drunk as a person who has a happy time together with people or Gods rather than as a person who loses self-control. In other words, the religious background enables us to tolerate drunken persons.

【REWRITE】
   Before working on this assignment, I had thought the reason Japanese tolerate drunks had something to do with Japanese character. This came from my memories. At a drinking party, I quickly got drunk and after drinking, I had to walk zigzag on my way home. Were people disgusted with me? No! On the contrary, they took care of me. Two of my classmates helped me to the station. When I parted from them, they smiled and said "Goodbye!" Their kindness touched my heart. I realized Japanese were really tolerate of drunks and the tolerance was related to Japanese character.
   This tolerance is closely related to sake having religious significance from ancient time in Japan. Japanese started growing rice, from which they made sake. They used to sake for offerings in Shinto festivals. Sake was used as an offering to the gods (omiki). Villages couldn't drink "omiki" at first. Then they got a little share of "omiki."
   They think of sake, made from rice, as someting holy that symbolizes a gift from the Fertility God. That's why sake is used for offerings at a household Shinto altar and at Shinto purification ceremonies.
   Sake was originally used to create a mutual sense of unity, enjoying excitement together, between the gods and people, or between people and people. That was the main folk function of sake.
   Sake was originally a means of getting people and the gods to have a very happy time together. I guess the background of sake helps me see a drunk as someone who is having a happy time with people or with the gods, rather than a person who has lost self-control. Our religious background hepls us tolerate drunks. That's the main reason Japanese tolerate drunks.




◆ 提出作品 3.
QUESTION 126.  WHY DON’T JAPANESE LOOK INTO A PARTNER'S EYES WHEN THEY ARE SPEAKING WITH OTHER PEOPLE?

【ORIGINAL】
   I'm a non-Japanese and I don't clearly know the reason why Japanese don't look into the other's eyes. So I asked some Japanese people. One of them answered that the Japanese don't want to show their real feelings to the other people when they meet for the first time. Therefore they turn their eyes away from the partner. They think that the partner who they are speaking is looking for something in their eyes. So they don't want to look into the partner's eyes.
   The next reason is that they feel shy to look into the stranger's eyes. One Japanese answered me that this (they don't look into the partner's eyes) is the Japanese tradition and they keep up it although it is good or bad. Above reasons are the answers of some Japanese people that I asked.
   Let's think about it more. There's a saying in my culture: "Eyes are the windows of the heart." I think it's true. If we want to tell a lie, we can tell it but we can't hide it in our eyes. So in my country, when the adults or the parents know that children are telling a lie, they tell their children "Look into my eyes and tell one more time." Therefore in my country, one who doesn't look into the partner's eyes when they are speaking, is thought that he or she is telling a lie. 
   Non-Japanese, especially Americans, think that Japanese avoid making eye contact during conversation. The distinciton is that:Japanese feel that eye contact is rude and express an attempt to intimidate or challenge the other person. In America, avoidance of eye contact is taken indicating not interested in what is being said. They also think that the listener is hiding something immoral.
   The reason why Japanese avoid eye contact is connected with Japan's feudal history. About 130 years ago, Japan opened its doors to the outside world and began to modernize. Before that time, Japan had a strict class system. Every circumstance of Japanese society was affected by this system and this system is reached its height during the Edo period (1600-1867). Common people were disallowed to speak or have contact with the samurai warrior class and intermarriage was quite unthinkable. Eye contact with a higher social status person was very rude and it could cost the offender his life. Although Japan's feudal period ended with Edo period, its psychological and emotional impact on the Japanese psyche remains. Japanese still unconsciously avoid making eye contact as a way of being polite.
   American people think that direct eye contact is seen as proof of self-confidence and trustworthiness, and has traditionally been a good thing. When Japanese people are made eye contact with other people, they will be uncomfortable or embarrassed and look away during conversation. These are the reasons why Japanese don't look into the partner's eyes when they are speaking with other people.

【REWRITE】
   I'm not Japanese,and I don't know clearly why Japanese don't look into another person's eyes, so I asked some Japanese people. One of them answered that Japanese don't want to show their true feelings to others when they meet for the first time. Therefore, they turn their eyes away from the other person. They think the other person they're speaking to is looking for something in their eyes, so they don't want to look into the other person's eyes.
   Also, they're too shy to look into a stranger's eyes. One Japanese told me that this ( not looking into another person's eyes) is a Japanese tradition which they perpetuate,good or bad. These are the answers I got from some Japanese.
   Let's consider this further. There's a saying, "The eyes are the windows of the heart." I think it's true. If we want to lie to someone, we can do so,but we can't hide it in our eyes. In my country, when adults or parents know that children are lying, they tell the children,"Look into my eyes and tell me one more time." Thus, in my country a person who doesn't look into another person's eyes when they are speaking, is thought to be lying. 
   Non-Japanese, especially Americans, think that Japanese avoid eye contact during conversation. The distinction is that Japanese feel eye contact is rude and expresses an attempt to intimidate or challenge the other person. In America, avoiding eye contact is taken as indicating disinterest in what is being said. They also think the listener is hiding something improper.
   Japanese avoiding eye contact relates to Japan's feudal history. About 130 years ago, Japan opened its doors to the outside world and started modernizing. Before then, Japan had strict classes. Every aspect of Japanese society was affected by this structure which reached its height during the Edo period (1600-1867). Common people weren't permitted to speak to or have contact with the samurai warrior and intermarriage was unthinkable. Eye contact with a person higher social status was very rude and could cost the offender his or her life. Although Japan's feudal society ended with the Edo period, it's psychological and emotional impact on the Japanese psyche remains. Japanese still unconsciously avoid eye contact as a way of being polite.
   Americans think direct eye contact is proof of self−confidence and trustworthyness, and has traditionally been considered good. When Japanese make eye contact with others, they're uncomfortable or embarrassed and look away during conversation.These are reasons Japanese don't look into another person's eyes when they are speaking to them.





◆ 提出作品 4.【添削例(不要個所を打ち消し線で示し、書き換え及び付加した個所を斜体字で示す)
QUESTION 135. WHY ARE JAPANESE SO KIND TO RELATIVES, SENIORS, ACQUAINTANCES BUT NOT SO KIND BUT COOL AND NOT WANT TO BE CONCERNED WITH OTHERS?

   About 7 years ago I didn't really know the answer of to this question very well. When I attend came to this class and discuss talked about many titles subjects, I noticed the Japanese customs of Japanese. and  So I came got to understand about this question. the reason. Japanese (people) always think about 'uchi' the inside part and 'soto' the outside part. 'uchi,' inside, and 'soto,' outside.They think that relatives, seniors and acquaintances are their inside part their group and the people who(m) they don't know are their outside part. So they think for their inside part first and then think for their outside part. They think first of their inside group, then of outsiders. If we think well, consider this, it is the it's a natural way of thinking. to think. Sometimes, when we do kind things for the other people, others, they don't think the gratitude. aren't grateful.
    When I had just arrived in came to Japan, I lived in a small apartment(house) in Otsuka. There were many old people who lived alone in my apartment (house). One day when I came back to my apartment from school, I saw an old woman who was from my apartment (house). I knew her but she didn't notice me realize that she and I lived in the same apartment (house). That day she carried She was carrying a heavy bag and came back to her room. So I told her to I'd  help her carrying her the bag to her room. But she She refused me my offer and looked at me cool with cold eyes and may be she probably thought that I was a foreigner and she didn't know me so she didn't need my help.
    Two or three months after that happening later, that the old woman noticed me recognized that I also lived in the same apartment (house)and she came got to know about me and sometimes we made some greetings we sometimes greeted each other. And thenThen I could help her when I met her on the way carrying heavy things. saw she was carrying something heavy.
    The custom of Japanese that they don't want to concern with other people is good for sometimes but it is also bad for sometimes. The Japanese custom of not wanting to be concerned with others is sometimes good and sometimes bad. If people they don't want others to know other people what they are doing, it is it's a good custom for them. If someone faced with is accosted by a pickpocket or a groper in on the train, nobody gives the help helps although they saw that happening. see what's happening. Japanese people don't want to concern get involved with other people others, so they ignored these happenings. what happens. But thinking from the people who was made pickpocket or bad things, From the standpoint of who were involved with pickpockets or misfortune, they want someone's help. Therefore, it is bad for this time. ignoring such things is bad.
    Summing up I didn't really know why Japanese people are not so aren't very kind and cool to other peoplee before are cold toward others,but I gradually came to know have gradually come to understand why.




◆ 提出作品 5.【添削例(不要個所を打ち消し線で示し、書き換え及び付加した個所を斜体字で示す)
WHY JAPANESE DON'T PROPERLY USE “YES” AND “NO”.

    A lot of Japanese misunderstand how to make an answer “Yes” and “No.”  In English country, they use properly Yes and No just their own opinion what the question takes any forms. English-speaking countries, they use “Yes ”and “No” expressing their opinions directly regardless of the form of the question. This point is serious difference differs greatly between Japanese and English. Compared with Unlike English, Japanese use properly “Yes” and or “No” which depending on whether the question is an affirmative sentence or a negative sentence. This is a Japanese special answer way. Give two sentences as follows: Japanese peculiarity is illustrated by the following (two examples):

   F: Do you like fishing?
   J: No, I don't.
   F: Oh, you don't.
   J: Yes.
   F: Yes?
   J: Yes.

    Japanese word In Japanese “Yes” stands for means “I agree with what you are suggesting behind your words the suggestion behind your words.”  The intention is a negative meaning. In English country, English-speaking countries, “No” means nagative meaning and “Yes” means affirmative meaning.

   F: Didn't you see him yesterday?
   J:  Yes, I didn't.

    This answer “Yes” stands for means “Yes, I agree with what you say. said - I didn't see him.” After “Yes”, it is omitted that “What you said is right. Yourquestion is correct.” The words following “Yes,” indicating that “What you said is right. (Your question is correct.)” are omitted. This answer is the way of using “Yes” and “No” are used  in Japan. This is a problem is when we speak English, because of we catch English with translating English into Japanese what foreigners said. we translate from English to Japanese what foreigners say .
    There is one more Another misleading Japanese use of “Yes” is chiming in. As Japanese is grown up by our their mothers with giving child a scoldingthe child with “Do you hear me? If you hear me, do an answer.” We have amanner what wehabitually chime in “ Yes” in the middle of other's talk. another person's statement. This Japanese action trait is rather liable to cause misunderstanding to chime in with saying “Yes” can be interpreted “OK” for foreigners. because foreigners may interpret saying “Yes” as “OK.” So, when we express our an opinion after other's talk, another person finishes talking,foreigners are angry. may be upset.“You said ‘Yes’ some time ago.” It's easy for Japanese to change from the Japanese chime way of chiming in to the English way by saying “I see” or “Oh, really?” or something like that. some such comment.